Alive and Kicking

Oh I know...smack my hand why don't you...

I'm back. No, I haven't been in Kuching all this while. I did come back in one piece (barely) and live to tell the tale.

In truth, I haven't blogged because frankly, I'm a little intimidated. I know, it's hard to imagine how someone with such a supersized ego could possibly be so easily intimidated, but I am walking proof.

It worries me that this is actually a public blog. Oh, I know, it's on the web but I really thought that the only people who read it were the ones who commented. And they are admittedly a handful of people I know and those whom I don't but have come to know over the months/years. They're friendly parties, with their encouraging comments and "I'm so happy for you" remarks. It reassures me that whatever crap I write, I'm safe.

It just goes to show how people like to believe what they want to. Safety on the internet - that must be a classic.

No, I haven't been attacked in cyberspace or anything. Just over the months, I have come to discover that an old flame has dropped by, a Rinpoche has circulated one of my posts and when shopping at my favourote discount designer store, the owner thanked me for bringing in a customer who read about it on this blog.

I am honoured that people drop by. I do churn out mounds of crap but I am glad to see somehow, there are the odd few who don't see it as that. But at the same time, I'm not one who likes to disappoint. I'm the type of person who buys things that I cannot afford just to please the sales staff (I'm working on that and conveniently blame my unconventional childhood and my role model parents for this hungry need to please). It just feels that now there is an audience of some sort, it is accompanied by a pressure (self imposed nonetheless) to cater to expectations. Now I have to think up more profound things to say, more issues to divulge, more boats to rock, more revelations to post. Oh, it's lame I know. I just don't like to disappoint, that's all.

So, I've been running a few issues through my mind that would be worthy of posting alongside all the notable contents on the worldwide web, and surprisingly, I didn't draw as many blanks as I thought I would.

But that's fodder for future posts. Just want to say, hello, I'm alive, life is good. It's mid-summer in the Northern hemisphere and relatives are invading. It's one of my favourite times of the year when people suddenly realise I exist and include me in their plans. It's the season of birthdays, the race to the calendar finish at work, hastily booked holidays as half a year has miraculously flown by and a big gear up to the end of the year festivities.

I am so looking forward to the next six months.

PS. It's also my son's birthday today! I'm so proud. I can't believe I've mothered someone for so long.