Friday, July 13, 2007

The Significance Of Kuching

When I was busy trying to make an unworkable marriage work and cleaning baby shit, my peers were flying business class to important conferences on the other side of the globe, partying in Shanghai and the rooftop bars of Bangkok, comparing the latest Ws and voting in best airline polls.

Travelling is one of the greatest sacrifices of young motherhood. From being able to take off at any whim and fancy (budget allowing) pre-motherhood, to making endless packing checklists (motherhood), my holiday destinations dwindled from luxury party destinations and exotic locales to family-friendly resorts (with mini club please).

I had once prided myself in being a travel junkie, but when my marriage broke up and I was forced to reevaluate my dreams, I realised that in the last few years, I had been nowhere new and it was one of the causes why I felt so isolated and removed from this world. I am embarrassed to admit that just like I'd defined myself by whom I was dating, I'd also defined myself by where I had been. I have stood at the Parthenon, therefore I am kind of thing. Sad but true (notice all of this is in the past tense).

The thing about motherhood is that even when you do get time to go off by yourself, you are never free of the guilt that you left someone behind. And you allow it to eat at you, until you realise that instead of working on that black on the ski slope, you're on the phone, counting 8 hours ahead.

Holidays with young children are holidays for them, for a parent, it's work as usual. But as ZW grows and becomes more independant, so my heartstrings stretch and relax. I have learned that he can live for a few days without me, and vice versa. I know that he not only lives, but actually has a blast! No Mummy means no vegetables, no bedtime, no nagging. I also realise as he gets older that hey, he can come with me! He can walk, listen and most importantly, understand! No, this does not mean he's ready for the Everest Base Camp just yet, but we are slowly getting there.

This weekend, at the behest of Slapper, I shall be travelling to Kuching for the Rainforest Music Festival and ZW is coming with me. Travelling to Kuching may not sound especially exciting to some, but for me, it's the first stop in my quest to visit at least one new place every year. It is the first step in a long time, a first step for things to come. It's a place I always said I would go but shelved for another time, whenever that was supposed to be. It will be first tick in my freshly drawn up checklist of Places To See Before I Die.

In that respect, it symbolises my first step in the right direction.

I am really looking forward to it, to travelling with ZW, Chum and Chunk, and spending time with Slapper and her friends.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Of Food Fights in Cyberspace and Devils in Gucci

I haven't been in the mood to write. It's not from the lack of content, mind you. Life has been eventful, in a good way, but I reckon sometimes there's a need to get in there and live it rather than write about every episode that comes along.

What have I been doing? I've been living in Facebook - reliving days when my nickname was Spadie. I've been busy throwing food in cyberspace, meeting very strange people and comparing baby notes with an ex boyfriend.

Haha, we live in a strange and surreal world.

I've been living in Philip Pullman's worlds - the one which we share with daemons. The Northern Lights (aka The Golden Compass) is alluring. Am about to launch into another universe in The Subtle Knife. I've been living in Hogwarts too, with The Making Of The Order of the Phoenix and the showing of The Goblet Of Fire on HBO last night. I'm eager to see The One Who Cannot Be Named in a Gucci suit in the movie installment of the former and waiting with bated breath for the release of The Deathly Hallows.

I've been imagining what it must be like to volunteer in a Nepalese orphanage. Wondering if The Silk Road is as captivating as I imagine it to be. Conflicted over whether to still travel to India and face the touts in Delhi come October or trek to the Everest Base Camp.

I've eaten lots of durians, lots of pork and lots of McDonalds chocolate sundaes.

The tummy is happy, the mind is ticking, the heart is full. My, it's good to be alive!