Friday, May 15, 2009

Sabby & Candy Do Singapore

The saga continues.

Singapore, home of the Sling, became host to the slappers two weekends ago. With barely a breather since their last series of escapades in Kuala Lumpur, the Dynamic/Desperate Duo were seen once again, this time down South in the Merlion City.

Immigration authorities can confirm that the duo flew into the republic on Friday afternoon and checked into the Holiday Inn...the what??....yes, indeed, the Holiday Inn Hotel off Orchard Road...critics are already speculating the implications of such a choice and 51% of polls indicate that 'inn' must be the new 'palais', however, the remainder 49% believe that the Fullerton must have run out of suites...

They were seen exiting the hotel that night in dark glasses in outfits that were backless, plunging, short and see through all at once. Known for their rebllion against designer labels, the duo have always seen themselves as role models of Bangkok street fashion. Accompanying them was reliable bodyguard Sammy K, flown in from Thailand for just this job. It is believed the girls dined on steak and foie gras at The Screening Room before heading for an unknown destination.

They popped up on the radar later and were seen leaving Le Noir at Robertson Quay for notorious pulling joint, Attica. High on champagne and short of breath from the smoke-free discotheque, Paris proceeded to flirt with Singaporean liquor tycoon, Shanaynay,while Britney, in usual fashion, fell off and out of the VIP area. They were spotted trying out the latest moves from Britney's dance video (a remake of Guns N Roses' 'Patience') to a Nirvana remix and guzzling what they claimed to be Kristal champagne (bottles collected from the table revealed that the party were drinking only Dom P instead). Fellow partygoers included a timber tycoon heir from Malaysia's own Vegas, Ka-ching! (Kuching), and the kidnapped men of Indian and Iraqi descent, mentioned in the previous post, who were obviously still imprisoned.

The Dynamic/Desperate Duo kicked the joint at 4am and moved on to cause a scene at nearby upscale chicken rice roadside stall for closing too early.

While Britney Foong was nowhere to be seen the next day, Paris Sim, was seen shopping on Orchard Road carrying bags from Burberry, Gucci, Dior and Rest N Relax.

At about midnight, the duo, with accompanying bodyguards, tycoons and captives, were holed up at a bar in Emerald Hill, in a private gin-tasting party. They left at 4am and raided a nearby food court where they bought pork noodles cooked by mainland Chinese. In classic duo style, they yelled rascist profanities at fellow Chinese for their inability to speak English.

The duo flew off the next day to KL and Ka-ching! where they retruned to rehab.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Return Of The Sabby-Candy Chronicles

Kuala Lumpur, 1-3 May 2009

The Labour Day weekend, a weekend with a tradition of drink and debauchery, was brought a notch closer to the gutter with a series of unexpected sightings at several night spots in the city. With an appetite for destruction and leaving a slimy trail of mayhem, mess and eau de whiskey as they went, long lost duo, Paris Sim and Britney Foong re-appeared from the woodwork. Separated in the early millenium, after several hit and misses at notorious watering holes in the Klang Valley, the duo went their separate ways on either side of the South China Sea in pursuit of depth, baby child and other grown up ventures.

Spotted stumbling out of a chauffeur driven Perdana at 3am early Thursday morning at the renown Changkat strip, the duo accompanied by whom may be a third, new addition to the group, were later arrested and fined by hotel security for stealing display confectionary in their trademark loud, un-subtle manner.

Then, in the wee hours of Friday morning, Paris Sim was seen exiting a dodgy karaoke in the outskirts of the city dressed in stockings and not much else. According to karaoke staff who were later interviewed, the duo and friends sang a combination of love-struck ballads and soft 80s rock. When contacted, publicist to Britney Foong confirmed that she is indeed planning to release an album soon featuring covers of Guns N Roses songs.

This was preceded with the mother of all sightings the following night at a newly-opened lounge of an upmarket hotel. The duo (plus one) were spotted again; this time, breaking glass, injuring fellow patrons (physically and emotionally) and socialising with lesbians. The new member, who's identity is yet to be confirmed, was unable to keep up with the duo and was caught passed out on a couch in a most unbecoming fashion. Not long after, the duo were heard screaming profanities at a taxi driver while holding 3 men of Indian, Iraqi and Italian descent, captive. After viciously pushing the men into the said taxi, they headed for an unknown destination. But the most outrageous sighting of all must be the one of the Paris Sim mounted on a fast-moving Vesper through the streets of KL at 6am the same morning.

In view of their choice of transportation (Perdana, taxi and Vesper), will the Dynamic Duo now be known as the Desperate Duo? Is the past weekend's sighting the murmurs of a comeback or yet another futile attempt at failed stardom? Just what ramifications will their return have throughout the country and across the causeway in Singapore?

Watch this space as the exciting story unfolds.