Thank you Lenka for 'Trouble is A Friend':
Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe, oh oh
And no matter what I feed him he always seems to grow, oh oh
He sees what I see and he knows what I know, oh oh
So don't forget as you ease on down the road
He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart
He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh
So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm
I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!
Oh how I hate the way he makes me feel
And how I try to make him leave, I try
Oh oh, I try!
Couldn't have said it better.
Why eat the cheesecake when you know it's gonna make you fat? Why leave the work when you know it's gonna pile up? Why pick a fight when you know it's just you who will get hurt in the end?
Am stupefied by human nature.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Sabby & Candy Do Singapore
The saga continues.
Singapore, home of the Sling, became host to the slappers two weekends ago. With barely a breather since their last series of escapades in Kuala Lumpur, the Dynamic/Desperate Duo were seen once again, this time down South in the Merlion City.
Immigration authorities can confirm that the duo flew into the republic on Friday afternoon and checked into the Holiday Inn...the what??....yes, indeed, the Holiday Inn Hotel off Orchard Road...critics are already speculating the implications of such a choice and 51% of polls indicate that 'inn' must be the new 'palais', however, the remainder 49% believe that the Fullerton must have run out of suites...
They were seen exiting the hotel that night in dark glasses in outfits that were backless, plunging, short and see through all at once. Known for their rebllion against designer labels, the duo have always seen themselves as role models of Bangkok street fashion. Accompanying them was reliable bodyguard Sammy K, flown in from Thailand for just this job. It is believed the girls dined on steak and foie gras at The Screening Room before heading for an unknown destination.
They popped up on the radar later and were seen leaving Le Noir at Robertson Quay for notorious pulling joint, Attica. High on champagne and short of breath from the smoke-free discotheque, Paris proceeded to flirt with Singaporean liquor tycoon, Shanaynay,while Britney, in usual fashion, fell off and out of the VIP area. They were spotted trying out the latest moves from Britney's dance video (a remake of Guns N Roses' 'Patience') to a Nirvana remix and guzzling what they claimed to be Kristal champagne (bottles collected from the table revealed that the party were drinking only Dom P instead). Fellow partygoers included a timber tycoon heir from Malaysia's own Vegas, Ka-ching! (Kuching), and the kidnapped men of Indian and Iraqi descent, mentioned in the previous post, who were obviously still imprisoned.
The Dynamic/Desperate Duo kicked the joint at 4am and moved on to cause a scene at nearby upscale chicken rice roadside stall for closing too early.
While Britney Foong was nowhere to be seen the next day, Paris Sim, was seen shopping on Orchard Road carrying bags from Burberry, Gucci, Dior and Rest N Relax.
At about midnight, the duo, with accompanying bodyguards, tycoons and captives, were holed up at a bar in Emerald Hill, in a private gin-tasting party. They left at 4am and raided a nearby food court where they bought pork noodles cooked by mainland Chinese. In classic duo style, they yelled rascist profanities at fellow Chinese for their inability to speak English.
The duo flew off the next day to KL and Ka-ching! where they retruned to rehab.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
The Return Of The Sabby-Candy Chronicles
Kuala Lumpur, 1-3 May 2009
The Labour Day weekend, a weekend with a tradition of drink and debauchery, was brought a notch closer to the gutter with a series of unexpected sightings at several night spots in the city. With an appetite for destruction and leaving a slimy trail of mayhem, mess and eau de whiskey as they went, long lost duo, Paris Sim and Britney Foong re-appeared from the woodwork. Separated in the early millenium, after several hit and misses at notorious watering holes in the Klang Valley, the duo went their separate ways on either side of the South China Sea in pursuit of depth, baby child and other grown up ventures.
Spotted stumbling out of a chauffeur driven Perdana at 3am early Thursday morning at the renown Changkat strip, the duo accompanied by whom may be a third, new addition to the group, were later arrested and fined by hotel security for stealing display confectionary in their trademark loud, un-subtle manner.
Then, in the wee hours of Friday morning, Paris Sim was seen exiting a dodgy karaoke in the outskirts of the city dressed in stockings and not much else. According to karaoke staff who were later interviewed, the duo and friends sang a combination of love-struck ballads and soft 80s rock. When contacted, publicist to Britney Foong confirmed that she is indeed planning to release an album soon featuring covers of Guns N Roses songs.
This was preceded with the mother of all sightings the following night at a newly-opened lounge of an upmarket hotel. The duo (plus one) were spotted again; this time, breaking glass, injuring fellow patrons (physically and emotionally) and socialising with lesbians. The new member, who's identity is yet to be confirmed, was unable to keep up with the duo and was caught passed out on a couch in a most unbecoming fashion. Not long after, the duo were heard screaming profanities at a taxi driver while holding 3 men of Indian, Iraqi and Italian descent, captive. After viciously pushing the men into the said taxi, they headed for an unknown destination. But the most outrageous sighting of all must be the one of the Paris Sim mounted on a fast-moving Vesper through the streets of KL at 6am the same morning.
In view of their choice of transportation (Perdana, taxi and Vesper), will the Dynamic Duo now be known as the Desperate Duo? Is the past weekend's sighting the murmurs of a comeback or yet another futile attempt at failed stardom? Just what ramifications will their return have throughout the country and across the causeway in Singapore?
Watch this space as the exciting story unfolds.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The New Age Dump
You know, I often wonder what courtship must be like back in the day. When men were interviewed by a girls' parents for purity of intention and women went out on chaperoned dates. The days when the notion of pre marital sex was diabolical and romance, ah sweet romance, ruled the day. Roles and rules were cleary demarcated with little room for mistake and misrepresentation. It must have been so much more...simple.
It's a sign of our times you know, that these days when you turn on the radio and song after song is a rendition of the same song, heart brokenly cried out by some female singer.
It's also a sign of our times when relationships, immersed in deep physical intimacy are in other aspects, ie. emotionally, fleeting and impersonal. We connect over vodka, flirt over SMS and fall into a relationship (of sorts) over sex. There are assumptions of affection from sweet nothings imbued into drunken slurs and promises of a future extracted from scrambled eggs the morning after. We find ourselves in 'a relationship of sorts', 'seeing' someone rather than 'going out' and in some cases not acknowledging it at all, except for the sex at the end of the night.
But these relationships, openly acknowledged or quietly carrying on in our minds, are very real. They are real interactions as opposed to the daydreams we have about Brad Pitt. Just because they are never openly admitted, nor discussed does not mean they don't exist. I call these 'grey relationships' because they don't fall into your usual, girl meets boy, they date, they marry etc. It's the relationship of the millenia, the SATC-type relationship.
In many cases, these relationships (unhealthy to begin with), inevitably draw to an end. Without air, it cannot breathe and slowly begins to stagnate. Mind you, there are no big fights, no cutting remarks. In this aspect, the 'grey relationship' breakup is a remarkably bitter-free event. Hints of withdrawal come from a subtle decline of phone calls, fewer texts and a general build up of "Wow, I have so much work!" excuses. It is amazingly courteous.
Problem is, you cannot openly dump someone if the relationship was never officially admitted. Again, it's a sign of our times and we live in an age of minimalism. Welcome to the age of self dumping. Meaning, you dump him in your mind. Meaning you tell yourself that you will no longer respond eagerly to his messages, you will go out with him only if it's with a group of people and you most certainly will not sleep with him ever again.
Self dumping is a very lonely break up indeed, because you can't unleash your frustrations on any act which the other party did or did not do, can't base it on an implied promise or any words that were never expressly communicated.
When everything is based on nuances and innuendos, there's really not alot you can go on.
I'm not quite sure when such casual relationships came into existence. Being a serial monogomist, I have always been in very openly expressive relationships and I suppose I have for many years, been shielded from this very strange phenomenom. I won't judge it however, but I must draw the conclusion that it's just a way of how people deal with their buildup of baggage, during a time when what they want and need the most is love, but they are yet are so afraid of receiving it.
Anyway, I just wanted to make a point about self-dumping. It is by far, the most painless dumping I have ever experienced.
It's a sign of our times you know, that these days when you turn on the radio and song after song is a rendition of the same song, heart brokenly cried out by some female singer.
It's also a sign of our times when relationships, immersed in deep physical intimacy are in other aspects, ie. emotionally, fleeting and impersonal. We connect over vodka, flirt over SMS and fall into a relationship (of sorts) over sex. There are assumptions of affection from sweet nothings imbued into drunken slurs and promises of a future extracted from scrambled eggs the morning after. We find ourselves in 'a relationship of sorts', 'seeing' someone rather than 'going out' and in some cases not acknowledging it at all, except for the sex at the end of the night.
But these relationships, openly acknowledged or quietly carrying on in our minds, are very real. They are real interactions as opposed to the daydreams we have about Brad Pitt. Just because they are never openly admitted, nor discussed does not mean they don't exist. I call these 'grey relationships' because they don't fall into your usual, girl meets boy, they date, they marry etc. It's the relationship of the millenia, the SATC-type relationship.
In many cases, these relationships (unhealthy to begin with), inevitably draw to an end. Without air, it cannot breathe and slowly begins to stagnate. Mind you, there are no big fights, no cutting remarks. In this aspect, the 'grey relationship' breakup is a remarkably bitter-free event. Hints of withdrawal come from a subtle decline of phone calls, fewer texts and a general build up of "Wow, I have so much work!" excuses. It is amazingly courteous.
Problem is, you cannot openly dump someone if the relationship was never officially admitted. Again, it's a sign of our times and we live in an age of minimalism. Welcome to the age of self dumping. Meaning, you dump him in your mind. Meaning you tell yourself that you will no longer respond eagerly to his messages, you will go out with him only if it's with a group of people and you most certainly will not sleep with him ever again.
Self dumping is a very lonely break up indeed, because you can't unleash your frustrations on any act which the other party did or did not do, can't base it on an implied promise or any words that were never expressly communicated.
When everything is based on nuances and innuendos, there's really not alot you can go on.
I'm not quite sure when such casual relationships came into existence. Being a serial monogomist, I have always been in very openly expressive relationships and I suppose I have for many years, been shielded from this very strange phenomenom. I won't judge it however, but I must draw the conclusion that it's just a way of how people deal with their buildup of baggage, during a time when what they want and need the most is love, but they are yet are so afraid of receiving it.
Anyway, I just wanted to make a point about self-dumping. It is by far, the most painless dumping I have ever experienced.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Mojo Revisited: A Short Story
You know, I spent many years trying to figure out what happened to my mojo. It just upped one day and left. I was so perplexed it actually moved me to attempt to write a book about it. Working title - "Help! I've Lost Me My Mojo: A Memoir".
Needless to say, I did not get past the Foreword.
In case you aren't familiar with the lingo, Google it. Mojo actually has its own Wikipedia page:
"Mojo refers to a magical charm bag used in hoodoo, and in modern usage may also refer to sexual potency." Obviously, I refer to the latter, one's ability to pull.
So mojo left and I was left dazed and confused, and of course, very celibate.
I looked high and low for mojo - invested in all sorts of tools - light reflecting foundations, meal replacements, vodka bottles, lycra...mojo refused to be found.
It was a dark, dark place to be. At times, it felt like I was losing my worth, my measure, my very point of being born female!
I blamed it on hormones, on turning thirty, to being allergic to alcohol, on gay men.
Well, after a while, I just stopped looking and resigned myself to the fact that mojo was lost forever and I may as well make peace with a mojo-free life. After all, it was one less thing to worry about.
Then one day, mojo turned up again!
Mojo, I have learned, never actually left. It had fallen asleep inside my brain somewhere, where I had never thought to look. Now that I have learned this very important lesson, I have placed mojo in a box that fits its size (not as inflated as I thought) where it now sits in a very prominent prosition - where I can see it and always be reminded that it exists and always has.
Needless to say, I did not get past the Foreword.
In case you aren't familiar with the lingo, Google it. Mojo actually has its own Wikipedia page:
"Mojo refers to a magical charm bag used in hoodoo, and in modern usage may also refer to sexual potency." Obviously, I refer to the latter, one's ability to pull.
So mojo left and I was left dazed and confused, and of course, very celibate.
I looked high and low for mojo - invested in all sorts of tools - light reflecting foundations, meal replacements, vodka bottles, lycra...mojo refused to be found.
It was a dark, dark place to be. At times, it felt like I was losing my worth, my measure, my very point of being born female!
I blamed it on hormones, on turning thirty, to being allergic to alcohol, on gay men.
Well, after a while, I just stopped looking and resigned myself to the fact that mojo was lost forever and I may as well make peace with a mojo-free life. After all, it was one less thing to worry about.
Then one day, mojo turned up again!
Mojo, I have learned, never actually left. It had fallen asleep inside my brain somewhere, where I had never thought to look. Now that I have learned this very important lesson, I have placed mojo in a box that fits its size (not as inflated as I thought) where it now sits in a very prominent prosition - where I can see it and always be reminded that it exists and always has.
Whiskey Mornings
Sigh, it's true what they say. Alcoholic binges kill brain cells.
Forget this blog, even updating my Facebook status requires effort.
Sad as it may be, and speculate as you may as to why, but getting a second wind in your is thirties is just as fun, just as indulgent and far more childish. It's just what I need - pink, vodka-laced icing on top of the jadedness.
Just wonder whether my liver can take it the second time around...
Cheers y'all.
Forget this blog, even updating my Facebook status requires effort.
Sad as it may be, and speculate as you may as to why, but getting a second wind in your is thirties is just as fun, just as indulgent and far more childish. It's just what I need - pink, vodka-laced icing on top of the jadedness.
Just wonder whether my liver can take it the second time around...
Cheers y'all.
Friday, January 30, 2009
I'm Spinning Around
Can I just say how much fun spin class/RPM is! It errts like hell but it's soooo satisfying!
Peelar and I joined a gym on the 1st of Jan. Haha, it's 30 Jan today and we have been diligent! Am so proud of us both :)
Peelar and I joined a gym on the 1st of Jan. Haha, it's 30 Jan today and we have been diligent! Am so proud of us both :)
Monday, January 05, 2009
Clean
In the spirit of the new year, a short note about the past.
It's amazing what we keep for the sake of old times. In desperate need of filing away 2008, I had to clear out my desk. I was amazed not only that it took me a whole morning (and the task is still not finished), but also by the amount of junk I keep just for memorabilia's sake.
The boarding pass that lead to an unforgettable holiday, the stamped ticket to Ocean World, the Duranduran pen from the '80s, heck even the old handphone that served me so many years.
Moving away from the desk to the 4 floor-to-ceiling bookcases, I discover that there is zero space left to store my new collection of Bollywood DVDs. Old magazines alone have taken up 3 whole shelves. I remind myself that I have since lost interest in becoming a fashion designer and that even if I did, I doubt very much that I will look back to Vogue issues from the 1990s for inspiration. It's time to make the cut and sever these ties that are taking up too much space in storage!
Once you get in that mood, there's no limit to the amount of severance you can get up to. I proceeded to call Astro and hell yeah, cancel the movie package! I mean, seriously, it's something I should have done YEARS ago. Who needs HBO when you have a Media Player? Seriously...
So, I really do think this year's mantra has to be Out with Old and In With The New. You can't add new stuff without clearing out the old junk. And I mean that on all levels - in a day to day sense as well as the airy fairy sense too.
It's amazing what we keep for the sake of old times. In desperate need of filing away 2008, I had to clear out my desk. I was amazed not only that it took me a whole morning (and the task is still not finished), but also by the amount of junk I keep just for memorabilia's sake.
The boarding pass that lead to an unforgettable holiday, the stamped ticket to Ocean World, the Duranduran pen from the '80s, heck even the old handphone that served me so many years.
Moving away from the desk to the 4 floor-to-ceiling bookcases, I discover that there is zero space left to store my new collection of Bollywood DVDs. Old magazines alone have taken up 3 whole shelves. I remind myself that I have since lost interest in becoming a fashion designer and that even if I did, I doubt very much that I will look back to Vogue issues from the 1990s for inspiration. It's time to make the cut and sever these ties that are taking up too much space in storage!
Once you get in that mood, there's no limit to the amount of severance you can get up to. I proceeded to call Astro and hell yeah, cancel the movie package! I mean, seriously, it's something I should have done YEARS ago. Who needs HBO when you have a Media Player? Seriously...
So, I really do think this year's mantra has to be Out with Old and In With The New. You can't add new stuff without clearing out the old junk. And I mean that on all levels - in a day to day sense as well as the airy fairy sense too.
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