Remember when you were a teen and you really really fancied someone? The boy on the same school bus, the jock with the floppy hair that everyone else had a crush on, or better still, the school head prefect?! If I had a cup of coffee for every crush I've had, I'd be just a ditzy as I am today, except with justification.
Unrequited 'love' holds such beauty. It's innocent, delicate and above all, honest.
With an impending divorce and a love life (so far) good enough to resemble the shantiest of towns, I am a cynic and a true believer of calling a spade a spade. I do believe in the concept of a soul mate, but I also believe that there can be more than one and that they do not necessarily appear in the form of a romantic other. I believe that husbands cheat on their wives at least once and that for wives, sex will eventually become a great time to ponder about what to cook for dinner. I believe that most people eventually 'exist' in relationships rather than bloom.
But alas, the ubiquitous Infatuation is like the gentle yet persistent tickle that gets you giggling at the end. It cracks any stoic face, any stony demeanour, any solid wall that refuses to let anyone in or out.
I did not think I had fallen so hard that I was unable to love again. I'm a surprisingly fast healer - just a swab of friendship and some ego-boosting massages and I'm good to go and fall in love all over again. Come what may.
So yes, I really, Really, REALLY fancy someone and it's making me giggle incessantly. Don't get me wrong, it is really quite unrequited. But there's beauty in appreciating from afar. Stealing glances behind boulders. Trying to stand out yet shirk from attention. Attempting to sound intellectual yet melting like butter at the knees. And he doesn't even know.
I'm blushing, flushing, chewing on my gum, and feeling like I'm thirteen again. And I'm loving every minute of it!
5 comments:
Having a crush on someone is as good as being in love. You're happy, tingly and then theres that definite "glow". Isn't it better than an actual relationship where all the other bullshit comes into play? This is so pure and perfect. Its me you're in love with isn't it?
Let's see how long you would like him not to know and yet yearn for him to know. Enjoy the ride, babe. I've posted a poem about unrequited love just for you. HAHAHA.
ooh! what a lovely place to be in! have a wonderful time savouring the magic.
but stop chewing the bloody gum. it's such an annoying habit!!!
Honestly - write something remotely scandalous and everyone wants to know! Sorry Paprika, unless you grow something useful between your legs, it ain't you! Thank you Cleo-Jean for the lovely poem - there ain't no sparks but there's definitely a tingle of some sort. And yes, I am enjoying this so much more than a relationship. Starlight - the bubble gum is a figure of speech luv...
Ah, bask in all its glory. That rush you get each time you meet him! And of course, creating and grabbing opportunities to be around him! heehee, you got me giggling like a schoolgirl too thinking about this!
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