Monday, June 26, 2006

Be Careful What You Wish For

I thought I had not posted for a couple of days and only just realised it's been a week. Time is a tornado, a vortex of blur, spiralling and spilling out of control around me, as I sit in the eye of the chaos, seemingly still, but really just out of sync with the calculation, always at awe that it twirls so fast and wondering what I have to do to catch up to speed.

I hate to sound like a cliche that my parents should take credit for, but lately I just can't help myself. Like beginning sentences with "Back in my day...", or "The music nowadays is just not what it used to be...", and especially relevant to the topic in question, "Once you hit your thirties, time really starts to fly..." I guess before I know it, I'll be sixty and celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary to God-knows-who in a ballroom wearing some sequinned number, a broccoli perm and peach lipstick.

Which reminds me of an Eliot poem I once studied at school - in the year 1990 - called The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock:

"I grow old...I grow old...
I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach."

I still remember a conversation I had in 1989 with my two best school friends - Mary Mzumara from Malawi and Moira Buchanan from where else - Scotland with a name like that! We were wishing so hard for next year to come for then we would finally be sixth formers with our own rooms! We would be out of the baby house and in Farish with the big girls! That was what? 17 years ago! Oh God...

Take heed of what you wish for. Is it really what you want? The last time I filed my bills was not last month - it was last year. The last time I went into the pool with my son was not a few weeks ago, it was before Christmas. The last time my car was due for a service was thousands of miles ago. The last time I was at my ideal weight was not a few years ago - it was 11 years to be precise - yea, I have been on a diet for that long.

I don't believe I'm the only one who has misjudged the time. I challenge you to go on and do some calculations of your own. Take a reality check and wait for the truth to slam you right in the face!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I came across your entry because it has "Mary Mzumara from Malawi" in it. Just wondering if it's the same Mary Mzumara from Malawi whom I knew! Did your Mary have an older sister Kapesa, and a younger brother Augustine, and another younger sister whose name I've forgotten.... Do you still have contact with her? Would love to get back in touch with her and her sis. - Vino.