Friday, March 09, 2007

Since when has it been a crime to want more?

Two weekends ago, I spent a sweltering Saturday night out in one of the hottest spots of KL's night life. As I walked passed ISKL teenagers downing tequila shots, the latest Dior bags wearing their wearers and supposed 'It' girls sashaying out of BMWs (a sight to behold I warn you), I realised it was a scene I did not miss. On the unfashionable end of the Asian Heritage Row, in a trendy restaurant bathed in the neon glow of the mamak shop across the street, an old friend and I dined on the garlickiest fettucine and the cheesiest risotto on the strip.

Princess and I have known each other for a good ten years. I used to go out with her brother, so we were forced from the start, to like one another. But then, she is not difficult to like and over the years, as romance faded from the relationship that brought us together, our friendship has managed to withstand the superficiality of KL friendships - we swear to 'do lunch' and end up actually 'doing' dinners instead, rare as they may be.

Princess is extremely eligible. If she was a horse, many would say she is of good breeding but then, she is not. She comes from a perfectly respectable family, is well educated, works hard at her career, is well dressed, pretty, fashionable and above all, mature and intelligent. The problem she faces is that everyone - especially her mother, reckons she is a bit odd.

You see, Princess has remained single ever since she returned from the UK - a good 5 years ago at least. Even more mind boggling to many, is that she has chosen to remain single.

Her mother is at a loss of words and is on the verge of a crisis. Her friends have run out of male friends to introduce her too and guys whom she wants to be 'just friends' with think she's playing them. And poor Princess is just sick and tired of everyone around her asking "who?", "when", "why", "how" and "what?"

"Who are are you waiting for?"
"When will you find a boyfriend and get married?"
"Why won't you go out with so and so?"
And etc etc...

Why is it a crime to want more? Why is it a crime to expect more out of life? Why on earth should she just date someone just 'cos its expected? Many of you single women out there would agree with me in saying that as it is, talent is lean in this town. Mind you, that's not say that Malaysian men are of a lesser breed. No not that at all. Only that we - the women who expect more - connect lesser with them.

We want to be with the one who takes our inquisitive minds to places its never imagined, make our hearts sing in tune for once, make us laugh like hyenas, makes us feel like Elizabeth Taylor and make our bodies sizzle like sausages on a hot grill! The one that rocks our world, shakes our foundations. The one that makes it all worth the while. Is that asking too much?

I have blogged enough about this, dating someone you are SO not into, is not only unfair to the guy (especially if he is into you), it's downright tedious. Staying at home watching reruns of CSI is far more appealing.

People get me wrong and call me a snob, just like they call Princess a snob. But in this day and age where we are striving for more as women - better pay, more senior positions at work, voting rights at outdated country clubs we belong to, why, oh why then, is society telling us to settle for less?

And you know what? Let's leave society out of it for the moment. It's women themselves judging other women by indirectly telling them that they are worth less walking into a party on their own instead of off the arm of a distinguished man. Women are the ones reminding us that our shelf life is running out when they constantly moan about the importance of really knowing a man before marrying them. Mothers are the ones rushing their daughters into marriages when many of them bitterly regret theirs. And so on so forth. Oh, the irony of it all.

And the men? Well, they never go into too much detail. They just think we're a bunch of lezzas.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i empathise! i know exactly what you mean. its not that all guys are losers, but just well, ".. not enough...."

aim higher!