Why Exes Should Remain Exes And Other Amazing Revelations

I've had three hours sleep, lungs that are on the verge of collapse and a hangover the size of the African continent.

So much for the new gym-going, lettuce-munching, lean mean machine new me. This is the second time this week I have been plastered and the fifth day in a row that I have made lame excuses for the eating binge (I prefer emotional eating disorder). It took me 2 hours to get dressed last night - everything was too tight. Sabby tried to help but even her tops that can hold in her enormous boobs could not accomodate the oozing layers of my inner blubber.

Thank goodness I invested in those tailored woollen trousers - they made me glisten in sweat the whole night but at least they fit.

Last night was fun though. In celebration of the news that Edwin and I have been shortlisted for the Amazing Race Asia, I went out and had a big night. Started off with a very civilised visit to an art gallery where an artist friend was debuting a solo exhibition. Highlight: meeting Chong Siew Ying - artist of Monorail and Frangi fame. Lowlight: Too many exes in a small confined space and I felt waves of claustrophobia.

After usurping copious amounts of free wine, Sabby, Fat Shit, Long Lost Ex and I went to La Bodega in Bangsar for a gig. Good music. Good company (met up with Sabby's Kuching mates of Bling identity - see previous entry). Good champagne shots.

Moved on to Mambo Jambo with the addition of Beyonce Knowles where - would you believe it or not - we could not get in! What the...? We drowned our sorrows with lychee martinis on the terrace at 3am and Long Lost Ex and I embroiled ourselves in our habitual drunken Mambo row and he spent the rest of the evening sulking. Tell me, is it normal for exes to still fight?

I suspect not and am more convinced than ever that certain exes should remain in the store rooms of our lives. Filed away in the dusty memory cabinets far far back in our subconscious. You see, as part of my search for inner calm and happiness, I embarked on a mission to clear past bad karma. One of the many resolutions I made to myself was to ensure amicable closures with all my exes (not many so therefore a deceptively simple task). I think I have been quite successful with the exception of Long Lost Ex and Soon-To-Be-Ex - both of whom have personalities that stubbornly refuse to conform to my plan. I'm not sure what the problem is but I guess our collective emotional issues are just too entangled a mess to be sorted?

I don't know, and actually, I'm not too fussed. If it canot be sorted, best to just leave it alone. At least I have tried and my part is done. For me, that is sufficient bad karma tai chee-ed away from me.

Besides, I have my life to lead and the Amazing Race Asia audutions this month to think of. What am I going to wear??! You know, I'll be damned if Edwin and I don't make it to the race - how could they like us on our demo tape and not in real life right? I know we will make good TV in our matching hot pink track suit bottoms with Candy on the booty (available at La Senza if interested).

Kiasu? You bet! Here we come, the Race has begun!