The Rich Get Richer and the Poor Poorer

I've been meaning to give my two cents' worth on wealth for quite some time now but never had the opportunity. You would have thought that with the grave my finances have managed to dig for itself, I ought to be mourning my own funeral, but I figured since it will be a slow death, it may as well be as painless as possible.

And with that pihlosophy, I embarked on a completely Hedonistic holiday, that would have made any celebrity diva proud. I had mentioned before that this was an all expense paid trip to Pangkor Laut Estates? In case you didn't know (because I didn't), Pangkor Laut Estates is not the same as your regular Pangkor Laut. I could very well have gotten used to having my own personal villa, chef, butlers, driver, MPV, pool, jungle, dining room, etc, etc You mean there were other guests at the resort besides us? I hadn't noticed...

The first night was a blast. We decided to battle out our chor dai dee skills in the jacuzzi...penalty was of course downing the 1-litre vodka-spiked mango and pineapple juice cocktail that we concocted, followed by the barrel of sake that was warming in the jacuzzi with us. There was booze, bling and lotsa healthy KL vs. Kuching vs. Japan rivalry going on. After 8 hours of hip hop video bling and enough noise to bring the house down, we called it a night - I slept at 6am that morning. As for ZW? Let's just say that as an example of my new age mothering skills, he was still up at 2am watching his Mr Men DVD on the laptop next to the jacuzzi, listening to his Mum get pissed.

But he took revenge the next day by waking me at 8am to go to the beach. Despite the size of our estate, we sneaked out not wanting to wake the night creatures that were still deep in slumber. We joined the other guests on Emerald Bay and ZW squealed in delight at the open expanse of beach and water before it started pissing it down with rain and thunder and we ran back to our waiting MPV for shelter.

The next day was promising. After the American breakfast that chef whipped up for us, ZW and I ventured out again to an empty Emerald Bay at 9am and spent the morning almost believing we were in Barbados. (Note: good holiday reading is Plan B by Emily Barr about a man who leads two lives - one in London with his wife and kid and one in France with his mistress and kid - neither family aware of the existence of the other - not unfamiliar a plot but somehow gripping as I squirmed my feet n the sand at the bastard's tactics and rooted for the unsuspecting women who triumphed ultimately, as Good does over Evil.)

Back at Estate Eight, the booze up continued...beer for breakfast, beer for lunch...bikinis, tits, bikinis, smokes, bling.....

It was a shame to leave - ZW had so much fun with his personal Japanese-Swiss nature guide giving him lessons in ant migration, snail trials and the use of tree roots as swings. We had a resident clown who provided jokes on tap, a Playboy Bunny to flash a bit of cleavage when a seedy mood required it, Beyonce Knowles to bling BLING it on and a French diva to add that je ne sais quoi quality to the whole show. Oh yes, and me, Mummy. What an entourage!

And now I am home in KL, sunburnt and back to the reality of chasing unpaid invoices. Driving around, the city seems glitzier as lit billboards and the flash of indicator lights blinded me temporarily. Back on the estate, the blanket of night was so undisturbed that it was frightening and awesome at the same time.

The holiday was a welome respite to my urban life. I got to look up and see sky without the interruption of a skyscraper. Enjoy a hot sunny day in the shade of foliage. To get mindlessly drunk and not worry that my son was being kidnapped by Indonesian robbers. ZW discovered the wonder of nature, the saltiness of the sea and that sand can get up his backside. And we did it all in tha lap of luxury. Thank God for wealthy friends!

I spent yesterday afternoon at the hairdresser - after severe exposure to the harsh cold of the Alps and the salt-baked sun of the islands, my ends had given up and not split in half, but in fours and fives. The blonde streakes are tired and despite having been rebonded, my hair had rebounded by adopting its natural frizzy state. Now I have freshly trimmed and multiple layered hair the colour of Kit Kat - yum!

And today, when I rock climb I shall imagine the ocean beneath me, sea spray on my heels and coastal wind rustling my hair and hang on very tight on my pedicured red toe nails should I plummet below and land on my belayer, Bee.