Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Sick Of Beauty

I am stressed and pissey this week. In order to pay off my mounting debts (ski holiday, shopping spree, roof falling down, etc), I am taking on jobs that I would not normally touch with a bargepole. There is a reason why I left the beauty and fashion industry and this week, I am reminded of it over and over again.

I am writing and coordinating an advertorial for a new makeup line. The writing is done but God was it booooring...who cares what goes in a lipstick? I can't believe so much care, thought and money went into the description of a light-reflecting mosituriser. And science! So much science and technology and research!

And God, I hate organising shoots! Choosing models, getting the photographer - who of course works out of some studio in Kepong or Puchong or some other foreign land. Makeup artists and hair stylists and all that blah blag crap. The shoot is this Friday and will take SIX hours! What am I going to do for six hours with three Eastern European models and a broody photographer?!

I CANNOT wait for this week to be over. I don't know why I am dreading Friday so much but I guess I have just moved on. Shoots do not fascinate me anymore. It's not at all glamourous. It's superficial, utterly pointless and most of all, fake. Nothing about the finished shot is real. So why all the bother?

I need a drink - Saturday night anyone?


Edwin Sumun said...

Relax dear and don't think about it so much. These last two posts of yours worry me. You've been so 'up' lately and I forgotten how simply our daily routines can crap on us.

Take a breather. Do the jobs. It'll pay the bills. I guess you're going through quarter-life crisis with Bee. You'll come out of it. It's something all us late 20 somethings-30 somethings have to go through. Dont' think that anybody can escape it.

Most important: Don't worry about where you are going with your life until you are ready to accept who you are. You see me. It took years before I kicked myself but now I know who I am, it makes the unknown destination all the more appealing.

Crap is crap. We all have to do it. Go read your Lilian Too again. Some words well worth your time. The rest can bin.

You're soon gonna be a free woman. Be one that's in full control of your senses. Destiny will come knocking eventually.

xx always

starlight said...

is this the shiseido shoot? damn its long! i got out of the makeup and fashion scene precisely for these reasons too. but just grit your teeth, take a good book along and the shoot will be over before you know it. been there, done that, not ever going to do it again.

and i hope our new project won't stress you out like this. but your last post worries me a little too. we'll talk tomorrow!

wmw said...

Hi Candice...

My first post here! Eh, don't know whether to pity you or envy you. Ski holiday, shopping spree - envy, mounting debts,falling roof - pity!)

Be like me, I quit my 9 to 5 job to be an investment consultant so that I can have an improved quality of life! Hee hee...I dictate my own hours, been doing this for 9 years now. But I enjoy myself too much it seems and work just enough to pay my bills! Ha ha....

Hope you get a break from all this when you and Edwin make the cut for AR Asia!

Rafleesia said...

Such sweet sweet comments...thank you peeps and newcomer...

Actually I'm fine - the beauty about me in the thirties now is that I can now isolate problems (duh!) I may not enjoy my schedule this week but it doesn't mean I am having a bad week. It just means I am having a busy week. Likewise, I may be getting a divorce but it doesn't mean that my life has fallen to pieces, it just means I have to work on getting it back on track a little. Etc etc...aiyoh you all don't so drama la - I am fine! But thank you anyway for the kind words that do push me in teh right direction every now and then when I get distracted.

Steph - your book is something I have always wanted to be involved in - I cannot wait to sink my teeth in to it. Eastern European models is one thing, creamy chocolate cake is quite another. ;)

As for quitting work and having flexible hours - I am kinda doing that right now except that what goes out always seems to exceed what comes in...sigh, story of my life!