The Return Of The Sabby-Candy Chronicles

Kuala Lumpur, 1-3 May 2009

The Labour Day weekend, a weekend with a tradition of drink and debauchery, was brought a notch closer to the gutter with a series of unexpected sightings at several night spots in the city. With an appetite for destruction and leaving a slimy trail of mayhem, mess and eau de whiskey as they went, long lost duo, Paris Sim and Britney Foong re-appeared from the woodwork. Separated in the early millenium, after several hit and misses at notorious watering holes in the Klang Valley, the duo went their separate ways on either side of the South China Sea in pursuit of depth, baby child and other grown up ventures.

Spotted stumbling out of a chauffeur driven Perdana at 3am early Thursday morning at the renown Changkat strip, the duo accompanied by whom may be a third, new addition to the group, were later arrested and fined by hotel security for stealing display confectionary in their trademark loud, un-subtle manner.

Then, in the wee hours of Friday morning, Paris Sim was seen exiting a dodgy karaoke in the outskirts of the city dressed in stockings and not much else. According to karaoke staff who were later interviewed, the duo and friends sang a combination of love-struck ballads and soft 80s rock. When contacted, publicist to Britney Foong confirmed that she is indeed planning to release an album soon featuring covers of Guns N Roses songs.

This was preceded with the mother of all sightings the following night at a newly-opened lounge of an upmarket hotel. The duo (plus one) were spotted again; this time, breaking glass, injuring fellow patrons (physically and emotionally) and socialising with lesbians. The new member, who's identity is yet to be confirmed, was unable to keep up with the duo and was caught passed out on a couch in a most unbecoming fashion. Not long after, the duo were heard screaming profanities at a taxi driver while holding 3 men of Indian, Iraqi and Italian descent, captive. After viciously pushing the men into the said taxi, they headed for an unknown destination. But the most outrageous sighting of all must be the one of the Paris Sim mounted on a fast-moving Vesper through the streets of KL at 6am the same morning.

In view of their choice of transportation (Perdana, taxi and Vesper), will the Dynamic Duo now be known as the Desperate Duo? Is the past weekend's sighting the murmurs of a comeback or yet another futile attempt at failed stardom? Just what ramifications will their return have throughout the country and across the causeway in Singapore?

Watch this space as the exciting story unfolds.