I pose a question to you.
Is it possible, truly possible, as in have you ever experienced it yourself, to be completely happy being alone? I speak of course, with reference to being alone, romantically.
We can all be alone for a day or whatever and actually relish the silence. But if you were like me, and often hear the chatter of inner demons in my head, I know for a fact that I couldn't exist happily without my close friends and family nearby for too long. But the test has been whether I can do so without the presence of a 'significant' other. I realise that ever since I set a sail on the ship of relationships, I have never got off on a port of call. Let's get off this Love Boat imagery - what I'm saying is that since I had my first serious boyfriend at university, I've always been in a relationship. Yes, of course, I've had periouds of singledom, between boyfriends, but always in short spurts of a couple of months.
Seriously single now for significantly longer than that, it has been a test for me. I realise that I have always defined myself by the person I was attached to. Of course, the details are too personal to elaborate here, but this is something all girls ought to consider. I have friends who have not been single since they were 14 and cannot imagine being so. I wonder if they face the same dilemma as career women do when they 'retire' to raise the kids. Alone with their true selves all of a sudden, with no namecard nor name alongside yours on a party invitation to define you, who indeed are you?
3 comments:
After experiencing sadness and heartbreak, I can say that I can be happy alone. It's kinda hard, as this can be very subjective. Being happy alone, romantically, seems impossible (unless one is truly so much in love with oneself! Ha ha). Be it happiness in romance, workplace or life in general, happiness lies within ourselves and no one else should be the factor to determine that! This is my ringgit's worth (inflation la, no longer 2 sen!) ;o)
Being alone is a reflection of how comfortable you are being with yourself. You'll notice how you act when you are alone, is totally different from how you would act in public. When you are totally alone, there is no audience, no one to impress or interact with. I find that you can go through strings of relationships and yet you still won't find the thing that completes you. Relationships or love should not be the engine of your happiness, you yourself should be.Spend some real time getting to know yourself and don't be afraid. Then you'll find your own voice, and you'll know what you stand for, who you really are. Much happiness to you.
Thank you both for the wise words. I am learning that being alone has nothing to do with being in a relationship with another person. It's largely to do with my relationship with myself - something that I am working on, with uphill and downhill experiences. I seriously believe it's an exercise that ought to be instilled at schools and at home to young children. A bit slow, but I am slowly getting the hang of the concept of Self. Funny that...Love your Haagen Dazs poem by the way Cleo-Jean.
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