The Current Chapter

Life has been mad. I'm currently in fifth gear at the moment and if there were a sixth, I'm sure I'd rev right up. I don't know where I'm heading or where I just came from. I think the bottom half of my body is still stuck light years' away and the top half in mid-zoom to the current. See...I don't even understand what I am trying to say.

Piles of work, crazy schedules, traffic jams, bills after bills, unfiled taxes etc etc have left me constantly tired - as in, I couldn't even bring myself to watch American Idol last night cos I couldn't keep my eyes open. And I must the only Desperate Housewife fan who hasn't tuned into a single episode this season. Just when one thing is finally settled, another unexpected issue arises. It's a frenzied time and likely to be so till year end.

I suppose it's better to live a life full of activity than to live one that is empty. And empty is definitely not what my life is about. I often find myself biting my nails nervously on Sundays or when I have nothing to do. There must be something to do, something forgotten. Heck, I can't even relax in a spa! Once, I was checked in for a four-hour treatment and I practically frayed the towels on the massage bed from sheer boredom and frustration - coming from a spa writer!

The only things that keep me sane? Blogging. Cos I get to express my madness and in a way, put things in perspective at the risk of being laughed at (what a thrill!). Climbing. Wicked walls to expend my nervous energy and for the incredible adrenaline high from conquering what seemed unconquerable. Falling asleep with my son. Watching him transform from bouncing ball to sleeping dragon with silent breath and falling in love with him over and over again. Being a bimbo bitch with my friends. For comic relief, for being able to let down the mask of pretenses and for all its honesty. Everything else is a job. Everything else is something I have to do to get from where I am now to where I want to be.

But mind you, I'm not unhappy. I'm not ecstatic (as in crazy in love happy) but I am fairly happy. And life, despite its crazy madness, is a sea of emotional calm. Not still or ripple-free but definitely not in mid-tsunami like it has been! And that's always nice. To have an uneventful emotional life. My emotions are so overused they could do with a hiatus. But fingers crossed, not for too long. After all, what would life be if not a compilation of chapters filled with laughter, tears, anger, love, hate and all its cousins?